you just received a new message i have a fucking good idea for your episode meet me at 2pm. shit ! russia is a beautiful country full of great wonders and it's about time to do a special episode about russia let's talk about gerard depardieu's statement which caused a scandal i quote : "hey dude, take a hit of vodka with your red wine."
it should be recalled that ever since the tension between france and mother russia is very tense. can you do an episode about russia please ? excuse me ? 2.90 euros, please. do an episode about russia or i kill you ! who are you ? i'm crazy, i'm going to burn your house down ! you don't even know where i live ! your name is...
antoine daniel. in direction of "porte des lilas". next train arriving in one minute. and, so ? hey dude, i spent an horrible day. shut up man, we don't care because you know what i have a fucking good idea for your next episode. you need to make a fucking video on russia, right ? exactly, on russia.
how did you do it, you read my mind or what ? i hate you. so, let's do this shit. come on, let's go ! shit. let's go ! hello guys ! following many many many requests, i decided to do a special episode
on mother patry, russia. what ? this edit is so clichã© ? russia is not really like this ? once again, i must point out that what i'm going to show in this video is not representative of the reality of russia. i'm going showing funny, weird or failed videos that we can find on the internet. what do we really know about russian videos in france ? i already showed you some of them, including the wonderful performance of aleksandr pistoletov in episode 14.
i will never forget you. some russian videos went all around the world and became memes. but but but russian songs on the internet are more than just "trololo". if you look around a bit you can come across something like this. ladies, contain your orgasms absolute playboy the level of virginity in this video is superior to the size of my... ... planet. we may admire the incredible charisma of the four characters.
i don't know who is my favourite between pussy's destroyer, anal smasher, super ejaculator and... ... masturbatix 2000 this clip is kinda... how to say it... goofy, that's it. at least they look happy, they are smiling... because let me introduce to you the singer with the lowest conviction in the world. joy of living. i want to kill myself because death is awesome.
yeah death is awesome. the creepy thing is that he is so badly using his green screen that he has holes all over his body. i make holes, little holes, still more little holes (serge gainsbourg) at one moment in the clip he is enjoying a bit too much and then he realizes that he has to stay inexpressive. "what am i doing ?" seriously, he is so not commited to it that it looks like he's ready his script ! obviously all music videos are not that bad in russia, some music videos look much better and have much higher budgets.
for instance let's take a look at little big's song "everyday i'm drinking". dudes, you are proving all clichã©s to be correct ! your dad your mom soooo... what more can we say? this clip is filled with shots culter the ones than the others. raping a bear... the dwarf covering her face in vodka... the famous one :
i am going to put my dick so deep in your ass that the one that will pull it out shall be called king arthur. the real pedobear... and last but not least, the last shot... speaking of clichã©s, let me show you the russiest video of all time. a normal day in russia... i think that's cool. we can consider this video as an intructions guide. how to have a good time with your friends ? surgeon's suit...
smashing beer cans... dancing next to a burning barrel... and of course, the baseball bat. always take a baseball bat, always. meet me at 7 pm. take some crisps and your baseball bat, i'd love to beat some hobos up tonight. the baseball bat enhancing the social fabric since 1755 let's stop talking about russian songs otherwise i would have to talk about videos like this :
and i refuse to talk about guys with their open shirt tucked in their pants. i. will. never. talk. about. it. oh my god, what did i do with my life ?! and if i go on with music videos i will have to talk about this : and surprisingly, surprisingly, i do not really feel like talking about this. to change the subject, you should know that most cars in russia have dash cams, which are small cameras filming everything that is happening on the road. and there's a lot going on on russian roads... my camouflage is perfect.
humans won't notice that i am in fact a van. you shall not pass "i'm going to kick your ass, i hate you, go fuck yourself you asshole !" "i am so sorry, i love you, let's hug !" "shit, that ruined my day." and last but not least... ♪♪ my dick, my dick, my dick, my dick ♪♪ but my favourite dash cam video ever is the one i am about to show you. for this one i shall release the jingle :
"normal day in russia !" this is the most badass thing i have ever seen. we could use any music and it would just work ! even this one works ! but this was only an example of how hardcore russia can be. for instance, to stop a bus you just wave your hand, right ? tiny dick ! "normal day in russia!" everyday life would be different if everyone was acting this way...
"half a baguette please, not overcooked, and i'll have a croissant too. it's for my son. his name is renã©. yeah, i know, that's an awful name." we can say that this grandpa has guts. that is why i call a "white russian". birthday parties, weddings, bar mitzvahs, funerals, get yourself antoine daniel's best jokes to enlighten your parties ! "why is salt lake the city that counts the highest number of single persons? because love's late ! like salt lake, you know ? come on, it was not that bad, was it ?
did you know that chuck norris don't have to eat ? he is always nourished ! no ? hey you know what ? i named my cock "life". why ? because life is hard ! no ? shit ! however, this video is not the only "dangerous" one i found. in russia i saw countless videos in which people are risking their lives for fun. like this one. maybe ill die lol
yolo, i know, but they go too far... i watched the video until the end and they seemed to have cut when the guy falls and die. no, i'm kidding, of course he did not fall. no, actually i don't know. i don't understand how you can stay passive when your friend is risking his life like that. "hey, i'm going to climb on a 300 meter high tower and maybe i'll die." "okay cool. can you grab a water pack on the way home ?" and you know what ? that is not the most impressive video like this. like this guy, climbing a crane, walking on it,
swinging around 80 meters above the ground, hanging by one hand. feeling comfortable, right ? right ? right ??? this video you can't watch without grimacing like this : i'd never have the guts to do something like that. i am scared when only 10 centimenters above the floor! i swear, i don't wanna come down ! no, i don't ! the last shot of the clip shows text reading : no kidding ? to prove that russians are not afraid of anything,
let's have a look at a perfectly normal news broadcast. what did i just see ? no ?! nooooooooooooooooooo !!!! it would have been much more creepier if it had been a differend kind of report... "the octopus is closer in terms of evolution to oysters or snails that to any other animals." to anyone who still doubts, just look : this is disgusting disgusting... even when they joke they are so hardcore !
hi, i just lost my anus. airbags : enhancing the social fabric since 1971 to conclude, let's talk about russian animals. because russian animals are not like other animals. they are superheroes, avengers ! as batman and robin, these anonymous heroes are saving the world ! but the king of all russian videos is not this horse or this dog... ladies and gentleman, let me introduce to you the new internet national anthem : super cat ! super cat ! he will protect and save the world !
he is a billionaire and so cool wearing a whore's mask, he's so soft ! all he thinks about is the destiny of the world. without being distracted by pretty girls ! because he has been... ... castrated ! excuse me, i was moved to tears. this cat is the most depressive animal ever. this is so ridiculous to have small pets embodying superheroes...
do not even think about it. super richard, super richard, his dick is so huge that he already fucked your grandma and maybe your dad too. what did i just do ? to put it in a nutshell i would say that russian people are every desinhibated, as if they were not afraid neither of shame nor of death. contrary to the other countries i showed you in my previous videos,
what we see are slices of their daily life. of course i'm not generalising, the clips i showed were only isolated examples. like this training in the red army. this russia special episode is now finished. definitely, forever and beyond recall. if you liked this video you can check my facebook page, follow me on twitter and of course share the video ! i'd like to thank each one of you personally. nope, bad idea. i'd like to thank you all, together, for supporting me.
you are more than 200 000 suscribers, that is so huge... ... like my planet. episode 24 is coming very soon, take care, and "na zdrowie" !
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