personal lawyer

bruce: did you bop your head while battling a bulbasaur? did you slip and fall, because you were stalking a squirtle? did a car hit you, because you were distracted by a video game? you need the pokã©mon go personal lawyer. hi, i'm bruce pokã©mon. now for the past so-and-so days, i've been defending clients, just like you, who have been injured while hotfooting all around town trying to catch the yellow pokã©mon. i've handled every single injury under the sun stone

such as walking into a wall, walking into a well, walking into a little girl who then drops an expensive vase, and you know what, they seem to all be so expensive. or the classic, when you're prowling around someone's yard looking for a pokestop, and a husband comes out and cleans your clock, 'cause he thinks you tried to take perverted photographs of his asshole. this game is too dangerous. if they wanted to make it safer they should've released a stand-still version that you play alone in your living room.

"oh hold on a second bruce. don't they already have that?" yes, it's called regular pokã©mon. my rates are as low as they come, and you know what? you can pay me in super potions or lucky eggs, because i play the game too. when i crashed my lexus into a charter school, i thought that's my fault, because i was feeding candy to my gastly at the time. not only did bruce win my case for me, but he also taught me how to compete in gyms which i found to be the most confusing part of the game. thanks bruce.

it doesn't have to be all fun and games until someone gets hurt. if you get hurt playing pokã©mon go call me, and let the fun continue. also, give me a call if you want free pokã©mon go tutorials, because i love to talk about the game. male: bruce pokemon, pokã©mon go personal injury lawyer. reachable at 1-555-pokã©mon and by trainer name grandmasterfalreon. so play with your eyes closed if you want to. start a game of pokã©mon go while operating a forklift if you want to. i really think we could push the envelope here.

you shouldn't have to look up.